How Never to handle bad breath

We’ve all been there. You across the corner to your cubical ready to start the day’s work while you are suddenly accosted by the familiar stench of a co-worker’s bad breath.

“Here we go again…”, you think. “Another ‘H’-filled tirade that won’t ever permeate my ears because I’m too busy trying to keep it from permeating my nose.”

“So anywahhhhy,” continues your co-worker, “Hhhhank Hhhhenshhhhaaw from Hhhhuman Reshhhhourcess explained ouhhhhhr 401k plahhhhn can be an outstahhhhnding invehhhhhstment optiohhhhhn…”

Somehow, we’d like to believe our forced smile and wilting eyelashes might tell the offending party that there’s something less than stellar about the way they are sounding. Unfortunately, that’s simply wishful thinking. The thing is that no one knows they have a problem. We seem to be immune to our own stench, and unlike Willy Nelson’s muse, it’s never on our minds.

So how can you tell someone that their breathe is making you are having issues differentiating their head from their derriere? Sure, if it’s someone you know and are comfortable with, you can try honesty. Still, even honesty has it’s own set of problems. Can you play it off like it is a one-time occurrence you just noticed and hope that mentioning it requires care of the situation for good? Can you sit them down and also have a serious discussion which could ultimately embarrass them or make you appear to be the bad person? How will they respond to either scenario? You’d desire to be told in the event that you had bad breath, wouldn’t you? Would you feel comfortable being told by this person who you have bad breath? Do you really know them well enough to be discussing this example with them?

They are all important questions whose answers will vary with each unique situation. Still, there are a few things it is possible to avoid saying that are universal across all situations. I’ve taken the liberty of listing a few of them below. Remember, honesty is a good policy, but brutal honesty is often unnecessary.

# 1 Gee, is that your breath or did I blow my nose right after wiping my ass?

# 2 And today here’s me with the weather: Thanks, me! Well it looks like there’s a stank front moving due east from wherever your mouth happens to be. We’re considering a 100% chance of Halitosis throughout the rest of your life. Sports is next accompanied by today�s lottery numbers. http://kodomokousyuu.cloud-line.com/blog/ !

# 3 I don’t mean to be rude but your horrible breath is melting my face. To possess to stand here and pay attention to you is agonizingly painful. Hey, you ever see that “Alien” movie where the alien is breathing in Sigourney Weaver’s face and she just cringes because the thing is so scary and because it’s saliva can be an acid that can eat through metal? This can be a lot like that because despite the fact that your saliva won’t eat through metal, I’m fairly certain your mouth-stench will and that is scaring the crap outta me, my friend. Again, I don’t mean to be rude…

So you see, dear reader, one must choose carefully when approaching a subject this sensitive. Perhaps honesty is not always the best policy. Better yet, why not just leave an anonymous note…and a breath mint.

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